Author Topic: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******  (Read 5001 times)

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Offline fflintstone

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23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« on: March 22, 2013, 08:35:56 AM »
23 ADULT TRUTHS ******

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Offline gibsontool

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2013, 09:01:20 AM »
Had to call my wife into the room and show her number 21. I've been trying to tell her for 30 years that you don't wash jeans every day.

Offline johnsironsanctuary

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2013, 11:14:37 AM »
Thanks Fred, that cleared up a lot of questions that I have had for some time.
Top monkey of the monkey wrench clan

Offline Plyerman

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2013, 05:02:38 PM »
I've been doing a lot of research on number 18 lately. Still haven't figured it out though.
My friends call me Bob. My wife calls me a lot worse.

Offline softailgarage

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2013, 11:49:37 PM »
LOL, everyone of those is true in sooo many ways.
so many tools, so little time.

Offline Batz

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2013, 02:23:43 AM »
Grandkids can help us out at times.

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Offline rusty

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2013, 07:38:02 AM »

#17 - Some day I will tell you about the day my Garmen routed me through the VeryBest part of south west Boston because it was a mile shorter than taking Interstate 93....
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Offline mikeswrenches

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2013, 10:49:56 AM »
Batz,

I love it!!  This is exactly what my wife needs.  God forbid she ever pushes the wrong button on the remote...it's all over.  Then it's up to me to figure out what she did.  And I'd better be quick about it.  She might miss part of a cooking show.

Mike


Offline Branson

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #8 on: October 14, 2013, 05:54:56 AM »
It's 12 that catches my fancy.  I'm thankful I didn't get videos in Beta.

It's 19 that is becoming more "me."  I try to vary "What?" with "eh?" and "Hunh?"  It seems that if isn't all about volume, but that as we age, it's more difficult to sort out the sounds.  There's a guy at the pizza place we go to that I have to tell "I can't hear that fast."

Offline Lewill2

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #9 on: October 14, 2013, 10:51:33 AM »
Batz and Mikeswrenches, that fits my wife also. I travel a lot for work and I am away sometimes 2 weeks at a time on bigger projects. Part of our normal conversations are; I screwed the TV up. Press TV then press power, press 3, now press cable, is it back on? If she answers no then we continue with the instructions I have memorized.

Offline swervncarz

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2013, 11:00:25 AM »
thanks for the laughs... so many true!

Offline fflintstone

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #11 on: October 14, 2013, 07:25:17 PM »
#4 is my favorite, sarcasm sometimes is lost on the internet.

Offline rusty

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2013, 02:54:07 PM »
Why? There is no sarcasm on the internet.
Just a weathered light rust/WD40 mix patina.

Offline Chillylulu

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2014, 08:18:24 AM »
I'd like to add the following:

24. At a certain age you learn to never trust a fart.
25. I have become aware of where all the urinals are, wherever I may be.
26. On the plus side, I don't seem to have as many parts left over from repairs.
27. I buy new cars and trucks now.  They're cheaper in the long run.  A few years ago I was primary on 4 car loans, my children are smarter than me.
28. Don't offer to loan your tools out. Everyone knows you won't remember that you loaned them out anyway.
29. You can cut Viagra in pieces. I know an old(er) man who gets 6-8 doses (?rises, stiffenings, tender moments, perks?) out of one of those expensive pills.
30. Because it takes 30 minutes to one hr to work, set a clock or something to remind you you took the Viagra.  Its a real bummer when you are out tool hunting and remember you took it.  Then its "Do I go home and use the dose" or just keep on hunting because you are already out.
        30a. People will not come down on price if you seem too excited about that socket set.
31. I can get any cool thing I want. Mrs. Chilly approves anything if I say its for the grandkids. Or for making something for the grandkids.
32. I justify stuff or cost as less important than the time it could save me.
33. I justify purchases with Mrs. Chilly by its equivalent time cost. For instance "That 18v lithium ion cordless drill and driver only equals 3 or 4 hours of work."
34. Don't bid on auctions when you have stayed up way too late.

Regarding #2, I just claim 85% accuracy.  When I am wrong I claim it must have been part of the 15%.

Chilly

Offline john k

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Re: 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2014, 08:55:05 AM »
No. 1, Yes.  no.6, nope the teacher skipped me.  no.9 Definitely. 12, again?  VHS works great.   no.11, about 3:30pm.  no.17 that happened once in Louisville.   no.19, yes daily.  no. 26, yes.  no.31, AGREED.  no.34 totally agree.  Because I paid $100 for what?   No. 35, look both ways, again, because you already been at this corner 8,000 times and that great memory might be recalling 1982. 
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