Tool Talk
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: bird on June 26, 2014, 11:14:45 PM
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Hello to all. While in my shop this evening I got a phone call from my mother:
"Hi bird, so, what's the plan for tomorrow?"
PANIC MODE.
First of all, I don't EVER make any plans in the family (or for much of anything)..... Hmmm, except about food. Am I supposed to be cooking something tomorrow? I wonder what I'm cooking. wait a minute... where would I be cooking?????
No. It can't be cooking, that's the one thing I always remember, isn't it?
If it's not about cooking, then what? Is it a big plan? Will I like it? Can I fake this? I'll play it out and see if I can catch on......
"The ones we decided on."
"Oh, OK. So, 5 oclock??"
Damn. All I got out of that was a time....... not WHERE or WHY....
I'll chance it. "So, 5 at your house tomorrow?"
"My house? No, at Stevie's my brother). What did you get Timmy (nephew)?"
hmmmmmmmm, "For his graduation from pre-school? I didn't know you were supposed to get a present."
"JENNY, Timmy's in kindergarden....... and I meant for his birthday."
HIS BIRTHDAY damn, I didn't see that one coming at all!!!!!
So, as I stood in a pile of sawdust in my shop, I did the only sensible thing to do. Lie.
Scanning the shop, "Well, he loves the color green, so I found these green handled screwdrivers to give him. And, ..... I've been collecting some wood scraps (I could feel myself falling short). You know, not just any wood scraps. Lots of different kinds--- some long ones, some short ones, some I've predrilled holes in for him to use, . REALLY NICE ONES with, without any splinters.... all sanded down. (quick, come up with something better then that, you're falling fast). Oh, and I filled up a whole big trash bag full of sawdust for him."
Seriously, Bird? That's what you came up with ???? some old screwdrivers, some wood scraps , and a pile of dust?! I'm slipping! This doesn't sound convincing at all, I'm a horrible liar!!!!!
And before I could continue further down this path of deception I was trying to pave for my mother, she saved me.
"You didn't get him anything did you"
And before I could answer that one,
"BIRD, YOU DON"T EVEN KNOW TOMORROW's his BIRTHDAY, do you?"
"Well, whose fault is that???????? YOU are supposed to remind me about these things."
"I did."
"when?"
"Two weeks ago."
"Well, that doesn't help me any!"
I've had this conversation with my mother before. I said, "Mom, you know there's no point in telling me anything more then a week in advance." She didn't believe me, so when we went inside , I said, "Ask steve."
"ask me what?"
"How far ahead can you tell bird to remember something?"
"Definitely no more then a week. And if you're really concerned about it, better remind her the day before.... and maybe the day the day before. Why? Everyone knows that."
So, this point has been previously clarified in my family.
"You do know we're celebrating Mary's birthday on Sunday, right?"
"THIS SUNDAY, you didn't tell me that!!!!!"
"YES, I did..... hmmm, or did I? You know what happens sometimes? I think we all assume someone else will call you, and no boday calls at all."
"MOM, are you just now figuring that out? The last THREE YEARS I've been the only one that didn't know when we were celebrating my birthday..... and they weren't supposed to be surprise birthday parties!!! MAN, you all are a mess. That's all I have to say, A MESS!!!!"
THere. I'm sure I've steered far enough from the birthday for sufficient distraction.
"You do realize how riduculous you sound, don't you."
"Maybe , but I'm not admitting it."
"So, I'll see you tomorrow?"
"OK..... MOM, WAIT.... still there?"
"Yes"
"What time again?"
"Five. I'll call you at four to make sure you've left."
NOW, she's back on track, that mother of mine!!!!
The truth of the matter is that when I told mom that I had wood scraps, an old screwdriver and some sawdust she said, "Oh, he'll love it!"
And he will, just as much or more then something I could buy.
Hope everyone has a good day
cheers,
bird
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Thanks for sharing, I can relate to this...
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:grin:
you silly goose...
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Don't feel alone with this kind of interaction.