Branson,
here's some more info about this child. She grew up with a mother that didn't plan on having a child, wasn't financially prepared or driven to have a child. That's no excuse. T spent her first 10 years living with her mom and grandma. Her mom doesn't work, lives with her mom (who has swindled a habitat house and lots of money from the government.... partially by claiming her grand daughter.) The kid periodically moves from school to school. She's already been held behind twice. She comes home, watches TV, fixes herself a TV dinner, and goes to bed.
I should give this kid a name. I'll call her "T".
T's mom earns money by having the same psychiatrist as her mother. Both T's mother and grandmother have a psychiatrist that will give them any drugs they want. They "fill" their sham "prescriptions" and sell them on the street (often while T is in the backseat). They live in Waynesboro, va... NOT Nelson county. I find this psychiatrist despicable, unethical, and damaging to the public.
I am a person that is on disability due to mental illnesses; I find this particularly repulsive. I would like to turn this so called psychiatrist "in" to the medical board. But, I don't know all the facts, and I don't want to be in the middle of something like that. However, it is because of doctors and persons claiming disability such as above that create such problems for the rest of America.
My brother is a rural family doctor. He is so concerned about the abuse of drugs, which makes him RARELY prescribe them to anyone. Due to the overwhelming abuse of drugs in this country, it is quite difficult to figure out who is in need and who is not in need of drugs. He is a good doctor. He is a cautious doctor. And he plagued with continually having to decipher the "good from the bad" persons in need of medication.
Anyhow, my friend has tried to get "physical custody" of T before. Her grandmother wouldn't let her because it would cut into her tax, welfare, attributes.
Finally, my friend has "physical custody" of T. And, I commend her for it. She just lost her job. We just found out that her mom has cancer. But, my friend plans on keeping T. And so my friend lives with her mom, her step dad, and now T in there very attractive double wide. (you'd never know it was a trailer and not a house, not that it matters).
T is now watching TV an hour a day, doing homework two hours a day, and getting good grades. It's amazing what a different environment can do for a child. But, T still has no friends. She gets in trouble on the bus. She looks for attention. She recently took a hearing test and "faked it" in order to receive attention. Continually, this child looks for a way to get attention. But, now she has the full attention of the persons that have taken her in.
So, it is this child that I"m trying to help. I'm trying to be her friend, not just buy her things. Anyone can spend money on someone (well, if you have money to spend.... which, I really DON'T.... but will spend some).
I spend time listening to her. I asked her if she likes school.
"Well, not really."
"I didn't like school that much, either. But, what would you spend your time doing if you weren't in school?"
"I don't know."
"If you don't like school and you don't know what you would do if you weren't in school, you have a problem."
"I do?"
"Well, yes, you do. That means you don't like to do anything, and that's no way to live. You should always have something that you want to do. You should always be able to find something you're interested in. Otherwise, school's as good as any other place."
Silence.
"You don't have to like school. But, life is pretty boring if you don't learn anything new each day. Learn what you don't like to do. That rules out some things. Then, find some things you would like to learn. It doesn't matter what it is. If you have to learn something you don't want to , learn how to do it quickly so that you can get on to learning something you want to learn.
For instance, I had to learn my multiplication tables. I could either spend all day with mom drilling me on times tables or, I could answer each question correctly, and go play outside.
It's your choice. You can do what you want to, but everything you do has a consequence."
I'm not sure if I made any sense to her. As I said, kids aren't my strong point in life. But, I thank everyone for their help.
cheers, bird
Anyhow, there's this kid that I'm trying to be nice to...... I'm trying to learn how to like an 11 year old girl..... I'm working hard at it. She's been interested in my shop. I told her she should draw some stuff on boards I have. But, unfortunatly, all I had was a few nubs of chalk and a few colored pencils. She asked me if I had any paint. Of course, I did not.
I told her I was going into town this week and would buy her some paint. But, I don't know what else to buy an 11 year old girl..... does anyone have any ideas.... this is WAY out of my league!!!!!! When I was a kid, I was a MAJOR TOMBOY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no idea how to relate to this kid, but, she doesn't have much of anyone around. So, I thought I'd try to "buck up" and be someone that could help her out....... wouldn't go so far as being a roll model.... but, would like to help her out somehow.
The poor kid asked me what a "hobby" was. UGHHHHHH..... man, I feel bad for so many kids in this world. So, I'm trying to let her have a hobby.... painting pieces of wood.
Well, if anyone has a little girl around 11 or knows how to act around an 11 year old, I could really use some advice
cheers, bird
I've been thinking about this kid, and I remember you talking about her earlier. I'd like to know something more about her circumstances. It looks like she needs a friend for one thing. Didn't know what a hobby is? She lives in a really small world. She needs input, too. Hard to make choices when you don't know what you have to choose from.
One thing is a book or two. She likes being in your shop, so you might think about getting her one of Eric Sloane's books, like A Museum of Early American Tools, or Diary of an Early American Boy. There's a lot of discovery in Sloane's books, and they are very easy to read, and well illustrated with drawings. You not only learn about tools, but also about the lives of the people who used them. They fit into her liking for your shop, and also into your passion for reading. Reading is always a good thing! You can visit places and people far away in time and place.
I helped raise my sister (also named Bird), and I remember her at 11, and it hasn't been long since her own daughter was 11. Both are natural artists, have been since they were about 5. Fiona was working with clay, trying to use her mother's tools, which were way big for her hands. So I took her to an art store, and we got a selection of tools in her size.
You can direct, somewhat, her voyage of discovery. Open some doors for her into a bigger world.
But always remember to listen to her. When my sister was young, our mother and grandparents gave her girlie things for presents. One Christmas, I gave her a Barlow knife. Mother and grandparents were aghast. But that pocket knife was her favorite present that Christmas.
Now, if she's painting on wood, it would be best to prime the wood with gesso first. Probably, a good, thick, flat white paint would do almost as well. The gesso will adhere to the board and provide a good ground for the paint to follow. Most of Brueghel's paintings (actually, I think all were) were started this way. (Sloan talks about using boards for painting, by the way. He was himself an artist.) This would also give her more to do, more hands on stuff, and maybe she would feel a bit more like she was pursuing a skill.
This is a really good thing you are doing!
